So, instead of writing an actual “reader response” on a pedantic tirade that was assigned for writing class, I handed in a gourmet chocolate bar with the following message: “I’m going for the bribe, because my only response to rabidly political egomaniacs is to say nothing and walk away. Enjoy the chocolate.”

This did great things for my reputation with fellow students, but my choc-a-holic prof only accepted the bribe to the point that I can hand the paper in late. I knew it was a cop-out, but with all the writing that lies before me, sifting the twisted writings of this moron didn’t seem like the best use of my time.

It was worth a shot.